As a school-going girl, I remember being more intimidated by girls than by boys. And indisputably, every girl must have a story to tell that features a ‘mean girl’. You must have had a friend who laughed together with you the other day in Chemistry, and then just walked past you with an army of girls flanking her in the school hallway. You must have dreaded going to school or college someday because you simply lacked the energy of dealing with a bunch of cool girls who made you feel like you were beneath them in some way. One day, you must have walked into a room wearing red lips for the first time and felt attacked by not men but by women. And then you grew up and stumbled upon such girls everywhere – work, clubs, cafés, parties, or even at the road as you walked minding your own business. Maybe, you were that girl yourself.
Men and anger go a long way – their display of aggression is almost natural to them and for people around them. It’s nothing unusual. So when that anger intensifies and joins with reckless and risky behaviour, it simply gets rolled under the rug in the name of normalcy.
A set of flattering and courting words sent across to someone can spark two things; a response with the same sense and energy or feelings of violation. Now, the differences between flirting and sexual abuse are quite obvious and clear. Yet, they are also blurred and overlapped with one another today.
Let’s assume, you have a meeting tomorrow with someone important to your profession. You enter the cabin and are introduced to a lady dressed in a salwar kameez. You would subconsciously pass a judgement, wouldn’t you? You probably heard a lot about the lady’s work influence; she is a renowned name in the industry that you’re a part of. You probably had a certain image in your head of how she would look, taking from her hair to her dressing. And, you may not have expected someone with such recognition to be dressed in anything but a pant-suit.
No one has the time to squeeze in tête-à-tête ‘catching up’ sessions every day. There have been times when the internet has appeared as a blessing and come to my rescue; when I needed to convey a token of love or a quick update to people in the middle of the day. Long-distance relationships also have come a long way along with a few more benefits to new age romancing. Thanks to internet communication. Now while the internet has been a boon for us, at the same time, has it also tampered with the authenticity of romance?
When women generalize all men as rapists, they might be wrong.
There are men I can be alone with at three in the night and not feel threatened at all. There are some men who stand up for women more than their own gender and show their respect and support throughout. There are men who are victims themselves. However, when a woman says that all men are rapists, she may be wrong, but she also can’t really be blamed.