When women generalize all men as rapists, they might be wrong.
There are men I can be alone with at three in the night and not feel threatened at all. There are some men who stand up for women more than their own gender and show their respect and support throughout. There are men who are victims themselves. However, when a woman says that all men are rapists, she may be wrong, but she also can’t really be blamed.
Although not all men are rapists, some are molesters; some can even be abusive without actually committing rape. They can also be assaulters who believe that sending an unwanted image or a message on social media is normal and not offensive. There are men who are not rapists but commit the same act as a rightful boyfriend or a husband. There are those who grab you in a crowded bus and there are those who just watch it happen and sit still. There are men who respect women enough to not even harbour the thought of touching them inappropriately, but then the same men laugh it off when a friend does so. Not all men are rapists. Some just feel entitled to ask for favours and build forceful physical relation with someone while maintaining an otherwise polished image.
Not all men have had the thought of raping someone, but they may have called a lady a bitch after she didn’t let them dance close with her. Some can never be rapists, but they can still flash women and touch themselves on public transport. They can still look at a girl aged twenty years younger to them in a way and manage to make her feel uncomfortable. You see? Not all men are rapists. They can also be your protector from the rest of the world and yet, reduce you to just a female body within four walls. They can also be your saviour but may be an exploiter to another woman. They may feel safe to you but they may be another woman’s worst nightmare. Alternatively, they could feel safe to the world but may not exactly be harmless to you.
Not all of them have vile intentions. Sometimes, they may just lose their ability to stand up, speak up, and help a woman who is surrounded by abusers. They don’t rape, nor do they touch inappropriately. They just sit there, watch this happen all around, worry about their female peers and relatives while adopting mutism when it’s time to speak against it and join the fight.
They aren’t rapists. They are just spectators and supporters of them.
So, when women generalize all men as rapists, they may be wrong and biased because female abusers also do exist and male sufferers do too. If some men stay quiet and don’t extend support, some women do so too. However, seeing every male as they are can be difficult when maximum men have a hand in sexual assault of some degree and when every woman has a #MeToo story to tell.
We know this is an outcry against sexual offense as a whole and not against a particular gender. But, when a woman feels that all men are the same, it’s because eight out of ten men can still manage to be violating without raping. Maybe, this will all end; women survivors will get the support needed, male survivors will get the acknowledgment, and the disappointment won’t be against all men.
Image – Clodagh Da Paixao on Unsplash